Mommy Dearest

This week's topic: those wonderful women, the mothers of the human race...Who also happen to be the metaphorical thorn in my side. In the last four days I have experienced every possible mother stereotype. They've been cheap, controlling, and picky, but worst of all, they have been commitment-phobic. Now don't get me wrong, I have been able to sympathize with most of these women most of the time. I understand not wanting to spend $200 on a prom dress, I certainly didn't when I was in high school. I even understand wanting to wear a dark color as mother of the bride/groom without having to wear black ("I don't want to look like I think my son's wedding is a G.D. funeral sweetheart"-direct quote from a customer). However when a woman in her late fifties comes in and decides to be unreasonable, my sympathy sort of evaporates. One woman offered her many opinions before trying a single dress and then leaving in disgust.
"I have to have sleeves, I refuse to wear spaghetti straps. But I hate jackets, I refuse to wear a jacket. It has to be tea length, can you cut down a full length dress? Why are there so many ruffles on these dresses? This is the mother's section? (Points to a few knee length gowns) What hoochies could possibly buy those? Who wears things like that? These are all too low cut, what are the designers thinking?" And on and on and on and on and on it went. She basically ruled out every gown we had available to her in one breath and would not listen to anything I said. I suggested modesty pieces, chiffon shrugs and offered to get her a consult with alterations to talk about adding sleeves and she said no to all of it.
On the flip side, we have prom moms, who are a very special breed of prickly when they want to be. There was one particularly memorable mother/daughter pair and working with them was similar in feeling to that horrible, bordering on painful, itch you get from tags in dress pants. The girl was lovely, she was looking for a junior prom dress and really had no idea what she wanted. Her mom was pulling everything in sight, and I'll be honest, some of it was completely inappropriate. She kept picking up bridesmaid dresses that made this poor girl look like (to be perfectly Victorian) a spinster. I had her in a red mermaid dress that looked absolutely exquisite and all her mom would say was "Honey, you are not sexy. I'm sorry, but sexy isn't your thing. You are a Plain Jane sweety, you need to accept that." I wanted to smack her. She ended up leaving, dragging her unfortunate daughter behind her, because she couldn't stomach the $99 price tag.
Now, I don't want to be unfair. Not all mothers are like this, some of them are perfectly wonderful and sweet and are happy to have a consultant helping them. These are the women that make my job worth it.
However, one thing remains true of, oh, 98% of women.
Women hate their bodies. Every single one of them comes in and the first thing they tell me is what part of their body they want to hide. "I have a pouch" or "I have saddle bags thighs". And my favorite "Honey, have you seen these hams? I can't wear a short dress, they'll mistake me for a pig and toss me in the oven with some maple sugar glaze." What humor, such wit. Part of what I try to do with my clients is pair them with a dress that makes them believe me when I say that they look beautiful. It's not always easy, usually it requires suggesting that alterations can put cups in the top of the dress.
This week's wedding treat: I have two really great ideas that big blue sea of the internet has provided. The first is a fun twist on red velvet cupcakes...They are served in a jar and eaten with a spoon or fork. This is adorable, reduces mess, and if the jars are cute or if you monogram with the bride's and groom's names they can double as the wedding souvenirs. Click here!
And the second is a personal favorite of mine. It's a great idea for wedding pictures, or pictures to put on the invitations/save the dates. It's also a ton of fun, my school does this every year. It's Holi! An Indian festival of colors. It's finger painting for adults. Check it out here!
That's it for this week folks, I hope you enjoyed and let me know if you guys have any ideas for the blog! <3